Book Review-ish: Redeeming Conflict

One of my reading goals for 2026 is to re-read Ann Garrido's trilogy on redeeming the aspects of leadership that feel "icky" in ministry and nonprofit. The books are all worth reading and reflecting on; prior to application to the daily practice of a school leader. So rather than pursue my usual review format - review followed by assessment. These Review-ishes will be more of a digital notebook offering up what I see as highlights especially in the context of school leadership. Today's review-ish is on Redeeming Conflict by Ann M. Garrido.

Garrido's books do an excellent job of combining theory, practice, examples, real-life experience, and theological role models to illustrate the habits/practices within the text. You consistently find yourself nodding your head if you've moved beyond attendee at a Church to a more active participant, whether it be volunteer or employee. In re-reading Redeeming Conflict, the grounding in the early Christian community of Acts and the Epistles - really stands out. Conflict is nothing new, let's see how best to deal with it! Yes, sin causes discord; but conflict and discord are not equivalent. "The Church properly understood is a school for right relationship. That is not to say that it is in right relationship" (6).

For leaders, chapter 1, focused on the triangle, can be especially meaningful as often we are called to settle conflict between two sides, whether they be individual or groups. Given that these triangles arise to avoid conflict or garner power (14), we need to be especially careful when entering into them.

Several of the chapters point to advice for making decisions - acknowledging the limit of perception versus the reality of a given situation (33). This leads to the necessity to listen - where Garrido again uses Acts well (51):

This is why the story of Pentecost in Acts is so fascinating...What is remarkable is that the pilgrims each hear it in their 'own native language' (Acts 2:8). God has not erased their diversity. The Spirit does not return humanity to one common language. But the diversity among peoples is not an obstacle any longer to their understanding.

For leaders in increasingly changing and diverse schools, this is key to understand - diversity is not an obstacle but an opportunity. As Pope Leo said at his address in January to the Cardinals:

“While unity attracts, division scatters,” Leo told the cardinals. “It seems to me that physics also confirms this, both on the microscopic and macroscopic levels. Therefore, in order to be a truly missionary Church, one that is capable of witnessing to the attractive power of Christ’s love, we must first of all put into practice his commandment, the only one he gave us after washing his disciples’ feet: Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another.”

This idea of Pentecost listening is an amazing guide that is backed up with discussion of the chain of inference, inferencing, emotions, and other ways to clarify and improve thinking and communication - all aimed at building relationships and redeeming conflict.

Many of the later habits echo the idea of radical candor - and how it links to both mission and a true expression of self and perceived reality. In an arena where often, our leadership structures and hierarchical - it is especially important to both practice and allow such communication "up" and "down" the chain of leadership. Garrido's tips for encouraging people to speak up are worth the price of admission as well (124). This extends to knowing one's self and allowing others to offer feedback (especially around how we are perceived). Part of this includes extending grace in the stage of forgiveness and recognizing the hurts caused by conflict. As Garrido points out (160):

When Jesus rose from the dead, his body was clearly transformed -no one was able to recognize him at first glance. But even on his resurrected body, he still carried the wounds of his crucifixion. Resurrection doesn't 'fix' or erase the crucifixion.

This idea of forgiveness incorporates the idea of repentance, the heart of Chapter 9. Her highlighting of the efforts of the Rev. Joseph Green to reconcile the community in Massachusetts following the Salem Witch Trials is a great example of how leaders can help heal and help participate in the healing. The next chapter builds upon the need for leaders to move forward with real problem solving that is not a quick/now solution but also not avoiding the stickiness of problem solving. We are called to purse a "narrow path...in which we can be 'soft on people' but 'hard on problems' (194). Her example of the community at Bautzen is a powerful example of real-life problem solving.

If you haven't picked up Redeeming Conflict by Ann M. Garrido, I encourage you to do so!