Leaving a Parish

The following is the text of a letter I sent to our most recent parish earlier this week. I have removed the names but am publishing it here because I believe it is indicative of a real issue in the Church. Clericalism takes many forms. Whenever a cleric places himself at the center of the Mass instead of Christ, it is clericalism. Whenever a cleric uses his authority to emotionally, verbally, sexually, or physically abuse another, it is clericalism. Whenever a cleric succumbs to the sin of pride in a public setting, it is clericalism.

Dear Msgr. X,

I am a principal at a Catholic school and have attended or worked in Catholic schools my whole life – being an active member of five different parishes during my life. I say this as way of introduction and so that you recognize my fealty to our Holy Catholic Church and the importance my faith plays in my vocation – as an educator and as husband and father.

We moved to the area in April of 2018 and registered with St. X. We regularly attend the 7:30am Mass with our three children, only missing when we are out of town or when I represent my parish school at liturgies or events there. In that time, I have treasured the reverence that you seek to cultivate for the Eucharist, the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, and the teachings of the Magisterium. As you have previously mentioned in your homilies, there is serious lack of understanding and I am glad we are united in our efforts to educate the faithful.

As a father of three, ages 5, 3, and 9 months, it is not always easy for us to be on time at Mass. I feel that the example we set for our children is key for ensuring their continued attendance and participation in the Faith as teens and adults. Part of the way we teach the Faith (for parents are the first guardians and instructors of the Faith) is through daily prayer, reading of/listening to scripture and the Catechism, participation in liturgies, and attending Mass. We purposely sit near the front so that our young boys can see the Holy Sacrifice on the altar and so we can reinforce the responses and lay participation.

Today, my younger son, who is three, asked for a missal so that he could “follow” along with the Mass as my wife, myself, and our eldest son do. He did so at the beginning of the Gospel. Recognizing the importance of the proclamation of the Word, we instructed him to wait quietly until after the Gospel. As the homily started, he quietly and directly went to the rack of missals located by the piano. You felt distracted and forcefully asked for someone to grab my son, which my father, who was visiting, did immediately.

As someone who consistently speaks in front of children, I understand how you may get distracted by their antics. In this case, however, I must speak as a Catechetical leader, husband, and father; angrily addressing a 3 year old child for wanting to participate and pay attention in the Mass is not the way to welcome families, children, or adults into the Holy Sacrifice of Our Lord Jesus Christ. Because St. X lacks a family seating section or cry room, I regularly take one of our children out of the Church or into the back vestibule area so that their energy does not disrupt the Mass. In this case, there was no disruption, other than your denunciation.

I wish you and the faith community of St. X the best. We will no longer be attending Mass, prayer, Eucharistic Adoration, or Reconciliation at the Parish; nor will we be supporting the Parish financially. Please remove our names from the parish registry, we are envelope number #.

Yours in Christ,

Kevin Donohue